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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22353232">sweet shock</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mourningafter/pseuds/mourningafter'>mourningafter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>lover is a day [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angel/Demon Relationship, Angels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bang Chan is a Sweetheart, Cuties, Felix is sad, M/M, but in the end theyre happy, please enjoy, they cry sometimes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 08:15:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,711</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22353232</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mourningafter/pseuds/mourningafter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>felix is unhappy he isn’t a “normal” angel.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bang Chan/Lee Felix</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>lover is a day [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1314281</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>127</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>sweet shock</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i wrote this for des! sorry it’s not too long, but i tried my hardest! please enjoy this little bit of angst !!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>there was something beautiful about falling in love with someone who smiled no matter what situation they were in. who showed their heart on their sleeve, who would laugh no matter how much they ached—it was so painstakingly beautiful to love someone like that. perhaps chan was lucky. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>felix was a sight to see. with his shiny black wings hidden behind his frail body, smile on his lips as he gingerly moved around the small house, unbothered by his own fate. it really made chan sit back and adore him, appreciate him in all he was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>chan’s own wings glowed white, hints of gold sprinkled throughout. they were opposites of each other, yet so painfully in love. chan couldn’t help but love the gatekeeper of hell, couldn’t help admiring him with is black wings, ones that were almost as big as felix’s body, that made him look alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>they were in love with each other, smiles being shared after long days spent in their assigned positions; the gatekeeper of hell and the main angel of heaven. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>today, however, was different.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>chan’s whole mouth goes dry when he steps into their shared house to hear felix whisper, “i can’t do this anymore,” with pain lacing through his voice as it shook with tears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>with even shakier hands, felix plucks a single feather from his back, chan’s eyes watching him as it falls to the ground. tears fill felix’s eyes as pain shoots through him, biting his lip to not make a noise, chan dumbstruck at the door as he watches. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>felix’s eyes flicker up to meet chan’s, his hand ready to grab a fistful of feathers on his poor wings, chan’s arms slowly wrapping around himself as he stays put in his spot, not wanting to even make a move forward. </span>
  <em>
    <span>not yet</span>
  </em>
  <span>. felix doesn’t want him to help yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“i don’t get it!” felix can all but exclaim, finally grabbing ahold of the slippery wings, a pained yelp finally leaving his lips as the feathers fall to the ground, surrounding his feet. chan lets out a shaky breath of his own. felix’s wings are trying to escape him and his plucking needs, trying to hide behind his body. “i’m not a bad person, i don’t understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>with the feathers out of his hands, felix falls to the ground, body shaking as he cries. his wings now come out of hiding, wrapping around him to protect him from anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“i don’t want to be here! i’m not meant to be a </span>
  <em>
    <span>demon</span>
  </em>
  <span>, i’m not—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>he’s stopped by the need to inhale a deep breath, chan finally taking a step forward. felix chokes on his tears, shaking uncontrollably as he lets it all out, tears travelling down his face and onto their floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>the angel falls to his knees, “baby,” he whispers, close but not close enough to felix. he can’t touch him, he can’t hold him close, can’t make the pain go away. “you were made this way for a reason, just like i was. you’re not a demon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the younger sniffles, choking out a laugh. tears flow down his cheeks as he tries to ground himself, take notice of how he’s feeling—but all felix can feel is pain. pain that he is an angel from hell, pain from his wings for pulling his feathers out. he tries to be careful about how he words his next sentence, scared to say one wrong thing and upset chan. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>he doesn’t want chan to leave. doesn’t want to drive him away. fear of losing him, slipping right through his fingers, it’s all there. it overwhelms felix sometimes, imagining losing chan, but he knows it could happen one day. sweet chan, so angelic (ironic, right?) and made of the sweetest materials known to man, chan was everything felix has ever wanted in life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>his head was spinning, the small place they share too bright for his eyes, playing tricks with his head. chan’s too far away, not close enough, never close enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“then what am i? a hell-angel?” he asks incredulously, tear filled eyes widening with exaggeration. “is that what i am, chan? an angel from hell, there to see everyone’s faces drop when they see where they ended up. watch people sob when they realize they weren’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>good enough</span>
  </em>
  <span>, how they can’t even fix it.” he’s furiously wiping at his eyes, smearing the tears across his cheeks. he doesn’t even try to stand on his feet. “i’m from </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell</span>
  </em>
  <span>! my wings are black, and i have </span>
  <em>
    <span>horns</span>
  </em>
  <span> on my head! meanwhile you’re from heaven, watching people’s faces light up when they realize they’ve made it. they’re enough. i’m just the bearer of bad news.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>with a shake of his head, chan crawls over closer. his knees don’t enjoy hitting the hard floor, and he knows they don’t, but he can’t find anywhere in himself to care. “and what if you are a… a hell-angel? is that such a bad thing to you?” he questions, gently moving one of his lover’s wings away from his body. “what if i was a hell-angel? would you cry for me, would you be this upset for me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>with the wing away from his view, he can now see all of felix’s face. parts aren’t hidden away. felix’s nose and cheeks are the brightest red, resembling cherries, matching his bright red hair. he was vulnerable, shaking as he sat there, feathers all around him, tears unstoppable as they came. one of his hands was in his hair, holding onto one of his horns like he was ready to try and rip it from his head—chan wanted to grab it and hold it in his own hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>the image of the two sitting on the floor, a mess together, could create a mysterious look for anyone that stumbled across them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>felix was strong. he was always determined, no matter what he did, and chan knew he would overcome this emotion. he knew that felix would get to his feet sooner or later and pursue his job, do what he was made to do—chan knew. he knew that felix’s tears would soon dry and he would smile like there was no tomorrow. felix would heal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>somewhere in chan’s heart, he believed that felix was a pure angel. one with the brightest white wings, one with the sparkliest golden sparkles sprinkled throughout. one that would always see the good in others, help anyone he came across. he was put in the wrong position for a reason, chan could feel it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>chan used to be where felix was. crying, black wings and horns, the feeling of being so destroyed creeping through your veins because you don’t belong. the bearer of bad news to anyone who arrives. he once begged for white wings like all the ‘good’ angels. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“lixie, baby…” his hands finally touch the soft skin of felix’s cheek, relishing in the way the angel leaned into his hand. “it’s like this for a reason. there’s a reason for everything, and at the end of the day, this is your fate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>another tear falls as felix’s nods, looking more delicate than ever. “i just… don’t like it. don’t like telling people that they weren’t good enough to go to heaven.” he breathes in deeply, looking up. chan melts at the way his eyes are full of innocence. “chan, everyone is good enough. who is someone to determine someone’s fate like that? why couldn’t i just go to heaven or hell without these wings?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the more he leans into chan’s touch, the more his body loosens up, tension starting to leak away from him. chan watches with soft eyes as felix starts to pick up the feathers from the floor, making a small pile in his lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“well, did you know that if you get wings it means you were chosen?” chan scoots even closer to felix, putting his other hand on felix’s face so he can cradle him. he rubs his thumbs over felix’s coffee dotted freckles, a smile on his face. “you were chosen, so was i. only good people are picked out for this job.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>a frown blossoms over felix’s face, eyebrows downturning as he tries to say, “but i’m at the gates of hell—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“because it was just a spot given to you,” chan interrupts him, quick to not let felix go into a spiel about how he doesn’t deserve it. “only people who go to heaven are chosen to be angels. you work in hell because you can calm the people down. you can remind people that hell isn’t bad, that they did their best. you’re there to bring smiles onto people’s faces.” he lets it sink in for a minute before taking a deep breath. “i know because i was in that spot, lixie. i helped people move on. accept it. and when my time was up, after decades of being there, i got my white wings. i was given a new spot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>felix’s eyes are now full of wonder, as if he’s heard the best news of his life. he can’t even imagine chan with horns and black wings, can’t imagine the angel suffering like he feels like he is. it’s a lot to take in, realizing that you aren’t bad because you’re at the gates of hell. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“so i’m not a bad person?” felix is quieter now, meeting chan’s eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>swiftly, chan is leaning down and kissing felix softly, his face still in chan’s warm hands. felix leans into it, letting chan kiss him. it’s crazy—felix tastes like strawberries, he tastes like heaven, like he was meant to be in chan’s shoes. he wishes he could trade places with him, anything to make him realize that everything would work out for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>when chan pulls away, he takes notice of the sparkle that has returned to felix’s eyes. he cherishes the way felix smiles brighter than ever, practically jumping to his feet so he can jump around their living room, joy spreading. he’s beautiful, and chan can’t take his eyes off of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>he’s radiating happiness at this moment, lips in a smile as his tears finally disappear. chan leans back, watching his boyfriend dance around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>he really was an angel. </span>
</p><p> </p>
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